No more sushi.

Prepare my place.

I no longer blog. But oh if you could see my art journals and scrapbooks, filled with art and love from these few months. I'll post scans of some soon.

Life is hard. I no longer know what to make of it.

My grandmother died just a little over a month ago. I'm finally making sense of it and moving on the way I should. But it seems the summer of 2009 is for grieving. My Poppy Fudge died last night. Is this getting tiring for anyone else?

In the run of a year I went from having four living grandparents to just one. The frightening part of this is it's just the beginning. Next parents, aunts and uncles. Cousins, siblings. Friends.

And I realize it's all a scary circle, that dealing with this stuff is the price you pay for living a beautiful life.

Knowing this doesn't make anything easier.

I won't be heading west for the funeral, I can't handle another so soon. I'll do my grieving here, without family, without anyone who even knows my grandfather's name.

Oh the emotions.