Girl's night.

Pink champagne, shots and beer. Watching Sex and the City outside on the back deck. Fancy lingerie.

Girl's night was a raging success.

Thirteen things.

1. An ice cream spoon, completely bent out of shape.
2. A picture I drew of Sierra, she was looking a little thirsty.
3. An issue of The Scope that Robyn wrapped my Christmas present in, a work of art.
4. My scrapbooks, keeping my memories in style.
5. Clip Clop, banished from my bed because of the heat.
6. My pony collection, because yes, I really like ponies.
7. Nanala, who watches over me.
8. The empty space, where Century Sam's painting should be hanging (but is too heavy to hang).
9a/9b. My Holly pictures, because little people deserve pictures too.
10. The button accordion, diatonic and one rowed so it's impossible to master.
11. A love note from Alex, complete with pictures of wrestlers.
12. Tylenol, aka a nanny's TicTacs.
13. Several empty cans of Diet Coke, I have an addiction.

My room says a lot.

Gather with the saints at the river.

This has been the hardest week of my entire life. I can say this with certainty as I recount each tragic moment in my head.

I went out to Stephenville last Saturday with the intentions of seeing old friends, visiting Nan in the hospital and catching up on my sleep. The week started well, great driving weather for my surprisingly short drive across the island. Holly greeted me with big hugs within ten minutes of arriving. I got to visit my Nan that very night, she grilled me about my job, school, and the new boyfriend.

The next morning I went back to see Nan again and as I was getting ready to leave I asked her if their was anything I could get her. "Oh, well I wouldn't mind a few chips." she replied almost cheekily. Apparently they never served fries at the hospital.

So that afternoon I went to the store and picked a bag up and cooked her a mean plate of McCains Oven Crisp fries. And ketchup. Lots of ketchup. Her, her roommate Mary (who was also enjoying her fries), Alex and I sat around chatting while they ate. I can't remember what we talked about.

That night my nan took a turn for the worst. My uncle called me at 4AM and told me the news. I went back to bed with the promise of being there in the morning.

And I did see her that morning, she made it through though majorly weakened. And again I asked her if there was anything I could get her. "Sarah, I'll tell you what I'd really like. An apple." After giving me specific instructions on how to prepare the apple (all shredded up with a cheese grater so she could eat it with a spoon) I left.

That afternoon I went for a nap. I must have been more tired than expected because I slept clear through to almost ten o'clock that night. It was too late to visit my grandmother, so I decided to stay home.

My mom called me five that morning. "Sarah..." was all she said before I broke into hysterical sobs. It was over. I knew she was gone.

The rest of the trip is a blur. I went to the funeral. I wouldn't go to the open casket wake.

There's so much more I want to tell you, about what happened this week, about my grandmother. But I can't think about it right now, not at all.