Purely politics.

I still don't have internet, but I couldn't resist stealing a signal to post this:

Intergovernmental relations in Canada.

This is my 600th post. I think I might need a hobby.

A little something to lighten us up as I head into my two Poli Sci exams this week.

Women are taking over (yay).

Boring politics post, ewww.

There was a collective "wtf" moment a couple weeks ago when Stephen Harper elected Leona Aglukkaq as minister of health. Health is HIGH-PROFILE. Aglukkaq is a first time MP. SHE'S THE SARAH PALIN OF THE NORTH JONES' PANTS.

I was super happy to see a woman get this position, but in all honesty, I'm pretty sure it was just Harper shining up his cabinet. I mean, what is better than a female native cabinet minister? Nothing... except maybe one that's in a wheelchair.

And this sounds cruel, yes, but I've taken enough Poli Sci classes to realize THIS IS THE SHIT THAT MATTERS. It is not who is qualified for the job a lot of the time, it's who looks good/sends a good message. Just ask Duceppe's hairnet supplier.

Back to women in politics.

Eva Aariak was elected as Nunavut's second ever premier today. I know absolutely nothing about her and the CBC says she's an "Iqaluit store owner."

Paul Okalik has held the position since 1999 when Nunavut was formed. I'm kind of sad to see Okalik go. Not because he accomplished anything worthwhile mind you. But he always said hello and kind words when I passed him on the street during my lunch breaks in Iqaluit (Nunavut's a tiny place... population wise).

And I super loved that classy seal-skin vest he wore all the time.

The man will speak.

There is something important about a politician's voice. Maybe it's the whole voice-of-the-nation thing. In Canada we've had our share of poor speaking leaders, as well as legendary ones.

A single sentence can make or break a politicians career.

I wish Obama would do books on tape or something. I would definitely read the Harry Potters if Barack was the one describing all the wizard shit.

What am I getting at? DUDE CAN SPEAK. And America needs to gain some face in that department. Because rarely is the question asked: is our children learning?



Obama '08, baby!

Take a sad song and make it better.

Now that the election is over a lot of people are still looking at Stephane Dion. Not to be leader of this country. Not even to be leader of his party.

Its been questioned over the past few months if Dion will resign as leader of the Liberal party without ever being elected. Let me just say that this would be VERY abnormal. Actually it has only happened once before, back in 1887 (did you learn about that in Marland's class yet, Dave and Leah?! See his teachings ARE relevant!).

But now the question has turned from if to when. If Dion doesn't step down, he'll probably get the boot during the Liberal's convention. Which really saddens me. The dude is too awesome for those conniving politicians.

And he deserves some respect. Its so Paul Martin-esque of these people to be chasing at the guy's coattails already. CUT HIM SOME SLACK, HIS DOG IS NAMED KYOTO FOR GOODNESS SAKE.

So who's it going to be: Bob Rae or Michael Ignatieff? Ignatieff writes kick ass books but hasn't lived in Canada for the past like thirty years. Bob Rae swam naked with Rick Mercer on national television but is a former NDP-er. Oh, the choices!

Are you sick of me talking about politics yet?


P.S. I totally created that Stephane. I AM SO MANY KINDS OF NERD IN ONE AMAZONIAN SIZED PACKAGE.

Equalization impasse.

Looking at that makes you ache for proportional representation, huh?

Well I can't say I'm surprised. I'm trying to be grateful that Harper only gained a minority, but now it just means we have AT LEAST another year with him. Probably more since the Liberal party is still hanging out in shit land.

And Dictator Danny got his goose egg. I think a lot of people haven't caught on that it means we'll have NO representation from the current government. Expect the roads to get shitty. Literally and figuratively.

I was for the goose egg, don't get me wrong. ABC voters don't have to buy me a birthday present. But it only adds fuel to Harper's and William's whip-it-out-and-measure contest.

But I'm looking to the future! In a few more years, with some experience under his belt, sexy reincarnation man is going to come and save this country like his ol' pops did in the eighties. Oh please come and save us, Justin. :)

I cannot believe he's going to get his goose egg.

Early poll results give me false hope.

As I watch them count the ballots (in Atlantic Canada only so far, because of the time difference), I see this:

10 Liberal (6 Newfoundland)
3 NDP (1 Newfoundland - my district!)
2 Conservative
1 Green
1 Independent

WHAT A PERFECT WORLD. This is why we should separate! I wish the house had representation like this.

But I realize we need all the help we can get right now. We have to head over those conservative prairies... shudder.

Elizabeth May is actually beating Peter MacKay as of this moment! Enjoy it while it lasts for these few minutes, May.

Without a doubt, Harper will end up winning. I just cannot handle the idea of him having a majority government.

You're the only one catching hell.

I was going to ask what everyone thought of the leader's debate tonight but then I realized... none of my friends have televisions. What hippies! Allison, fellow tv owner and poli sci major, what did YOU think?

I'd just like to say that Stephane Dion makes me laugh and I hope that I'll be able to find some very cute and VERY frenglish clips on Youtube to share with you. He is really stuck on twins-ing Harper to Bush thing.

One question: why is Duceppe still around? To appease Quebec? It just irks me. The whole Quebec vote going to him and whatnot.

Anyway. I wrote a paper and now I'm going to submit it... 1:30am, yes.

And I am excited for my weekend to see my lovely S'ville family who I have abandoned this week in favor of school work. And I'm excited to Rock Band with Meagan, pick a good song for us to perform together!

I'm just excited.

Are you ready for this?

Canada's federal election is on October 14th and I have made it my mission to see to it that all of my friends vote (preferably not Conservative, but we all have our democratic rights so ultimately the decision is up to you).

Everyone has been asking me the same kinds of questions in this quest: How do I register? Who are the people running? Where do I vote? And so on.

So consider this...

SARAH'S HANDY GUIDE TO VOTING

Let's begin!

Am I registered to vote?

The National Register of Electors is a database containing basic information – names, sex, date of birth and addresses of Canadians who are qualified to vote. It is used to produce the voters lists when an election is called. The National Register of Electors is maintained using a number of different sources, including federal income tax returns.

Election officers update the preliminary voters lists during the revision period of an election. The revision period starts three days after the election is called and ends six days before election day.

Door-to-Door Revision
Elections Canada does door-to-door revision in specific areas where elector information needs updating, such as in new subdivisions (this is how I registered to vote in the last election and why it was so easy for me, I just signed a piece of paper saying I was 18, living here and a Canadian citizen).

Voter Information Cards
Elections Canada will send you a Voter Information Card (VIC) if your name is on the preliminary voters lists. The card will tell you that you are registered, and where and when to vote (note: for most of you this won't be sent to you in St. John's, but to your "real" home, usually wherever your driver's license is registered). For this election, a Voter Information Card will be mailed to all registered voters between September 17th and September 19th.


How do I add my name to this almighty voters list?

The two easiest ways would be:

Contact your returning officer. You should have your VIC by September 24th, so if you don't get one (or if it got sent to your parents' home, meaning the information is wrong) these are the people to call. Find out where yours is here (because I'm not sure if they change by constituency or by city).

Or you can register at the polling station on election day (although Elections Canada advises you to register before then). You must show valid identification, meaning:
1. A government document with your photo, name and address, such as a drivers license (this won't work for any of you because I am assuming none of you changed your address, this is based on the assumption that you're voting for the district you live in within St. John's).
or
2. Two pieces of identification from an "authorized list", one with your name such as a social insurance number card, and one with your name and address, such as a utility bill.
or
3. If you don't have acceptable pieces of identification, you can also be vouched for by an elector whose name appears on the voters list in the same polling division and who has acceptable ID. Both of you will need to make a sworn statement and the person doing the vouching can only do it for one other person. Make sense?

Here is a fancy way of saying all that as well as that "authorized list".

Still with me? Because the rest of it's simple. To find out if you're on the voters list, where you vote, what you need to take when you vote, who the candidates are in your area and pretty much everything else in handy form GO RIGHT HERE. Seriously, handiest little thing ever.

Other links:
The terrible "youth" site on Elections Canada's website
How to vote by mail if you are not in your district at the time of the elections
FAQs, like "am I allowed to eat my ballot?"

Are we good? Remember, the leader debates are on October 1st and 2nd. For the first time in Canada's history there will be FIVE party leaders on the stage.

KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!

We're better off alone.

In the United States millions of dollars, countless people and dozens of months of effort are poured into their presidential elections. It is international news for almost a solid year before their Inauguration Day. Pretty much anyone in the Western world can tell you who the contenders are for the upcoming American elections.

Quick. Who are the leaders of all five major parties here in Canada? (And considering half of the people who read this blog are Poli Sci majors, you better know the answer)

That being said, the United States will have to share the limelight with Canada because it's...

ELECTION TIMEEE.

Ohhh, yes. Parliament has been dissolved and on October 14th (like an early birthday present!) Canadians will go out and choose a new (please, oh please, be new) leader for this country.

I am definitely getting involved in this election. Stephen Harper reigning this country for almost two years is LONG ENOUGH.

And maybe Stephane Dion looks like a mouse, but at least he is on the right path about the current war, the environment (his dog's name is Kyoto for goodness sakes) and social programs.

SO REGISTER TO VOTE. Do you realize none of you voted in the last provincial election ("none of you" being the friends who read this blog)? Consider it my birthday present. :)

Just don't vote Harper.

P.S. Looking for a laugh? Check out the Conservative Party's Youtube page and view the ads currently plaguing television. And what a surprise, they have comments disabled.

Clutching mickey mouse.

The idea of Guantanamo Bay has always confused me. The whole putting an American prison in the same country they refuse to take sugar from is... funny. In that flabbergasting kind of way.

The rest of it just pisses me off.

The Omar Khadr tapes released last week have caused a frenzy here in Canada. Imagine, a Canadian citizen, jailed at fifteen and tortured. He is the youngest prisoner and the only Westerner left within the prison as Australia and Britain have already said "give us back our citizens and let us try them!"

Shit. I'm getting all shaky angry. Calm, Sarah. Finish what you have to say.

This is a matter of politics pure and simple.

In any other country, in the poorest countries of the world, a child soldier is told "it is not your fault". We as a people accept that a child's mind is too susceptible to the rantings and ravings of lunatics. So what's the problem here?

Khadr was arrested for allegedly throwing a grenade that killed an American soldier. Except the Pentagon accidentally leaked documents earlier this year saying that it was in fact another militant who did so. Oops.

But still Khadr sits in a prison cell six years later. Well, not in the same prison cell since he is moved to a different cell every three hours so that he is sleep deprived and more willing to talk.

Our government refuses to do anything. And though some would suggest it is a matter of race or religion, I would wager a guess that our PM has moved back into his perpetual state of fear. Go against AMERICA? Not on Harper's life.

Canada's indifference to this young man is a slap in the face. That these political games are allowed to continue in one of the freest nations on earth with absolutely no consequence for the players involved is a slap in the face.

And I'm wondering when people are going to wake up and see this country for what it really is.

They all grow up and become people's people with people skills.

Marland took us on a honeymoon today. We went to the confederation building to take a tour of the House of Assembly. I learned lots of cool things. I also took pictures.

44 Progressive Conservatives. 3 Liberals. 1 NDP. It really puts things in perspective when you see that they have seats on both sides of the House.

You know where the Premier gives press releases? That’s where Allison and I give ours too, what a coincidence! We decided to recreate his famous poses since he couldn’t be there (he’s vacationing in the tropics, poor boy). All that was missing was a seal skin coat.

As my hunched over disposition would suggest: the Premier is short.

And, yes, I took pictures (… and video) of Marland. I HAD TO. Here are some video stills, you can’t have the photos. For the record, he was pretending to be a politician during question period.

We're not making fudge.

Dear Allison,

I remember the first time I saw you after I moved to St. John’s. It was almost two years ago, the weekend before classes started. I was at Wal-Mart to buy lots of my favourite pens and loose-leaf in preparation for my very first post-secondary class.

I saw you near the electronics section with your mom. I turned to my Mom and said “that was my friend Allison from music camp. Weird, I haven’t seen her in two years.” You didn’t notice me.

My very first Political Science class happened that Tuesday at three o’clock in the afternoon. I sat by myself.

You came in. You sat on the other side of the room.

I was early, like I had been for all my classes. I waited patiently and debated going over and talking to you.

But I didn’t have to; you came over and sat next to me. “I thought that was Sarah Smith from music camp over here” you said to me.

It was me!

We chatted. You told me you were trying to get into music school and had decided to forego it for a Political Science degree. I told you I had discarded my dream of a life of music as well and was doing general studies.

We bonded.

Then Marland came in and thus began my life with him. By the end of that semester I knew I would have to do a Political Science degree as well. He made me want to immerse my life in opinion research and political scandals.

Sometimes I wonder, Allison, how much of a role you played in my becoming a political scientist.

Would I have crushed on Marland’s black tweed coat and sexy blue eyes as much if you hadn’t had been there to giggle with me? Would wedge issues, Diefenbaker and minority governments make any sense without you? How many messages have you received over the past two years with a screaming “ALLISONNN” followed up by one political inquiry or another?

In light of our very first collaborative Political Science presentation tomorrow, I thought I would write this and say: thank you for not killing me, Allison. A lesser person would have surely blocked and deleted me long ago. I promise to thank you in my inevitable politics related books as well.

WE’RE GOING TO ROCK TOMORROW, FUDGE OR NO FUDGE.

Yours in political (and Marland) love,
Sarah :)

Thankfully, here, it's the Bloc.

What do you get when you put four Newfoundlanders together and tell them to write a ten thousand word essay on the Bloc Quebecois?

A mess is what you get. A sad and pathetic mess.

We might be Political Science majors, but none of us have ever lived in Quebec. We don’t speak fluent French. And we definitely do not support separatism (unless it was Newfoundland doing the separating).

We think Gilles Duceppe is scary. That having a population density of 4750.8 people per square kilometre is incomprehensible. And that a poutine with Celine Dion’s face on the side is our best option for passing the class.

By the end of this we’ll cry for mercy. And the class can go suck a you-know-what if they plan on tearing apart our presentation like they did that aboriginal’s group.

AT LEAST WE DIDN’T PICK A WHITE MALE RUNNING FOR THE LIBERAL PARTY YOU LAZY KEENERS.

I am worried. I am not finished. And I am not baking cookies.

Low-life vermin.

Fidel Castro (president of Cuba) and Andy Wells (mayor of St. John’s) both announced their resignations in the past two days.

I always knew they were in cahoots.

I have nothing personally against Castro. His country gives me sugar to make my candy sweeter, so how can I dislike him?

But Andy. Andy frigging Wells: you make me want to hunt you down with a paint gun when you open your mouth.

And I get that we have outspoken politicians. If there is one thing Newfoundlanders can do, its bicker. But honestly, buddy, pick your fights.

He’s been on council for over thirty years, mayor for over a decade (SOMEHOW). Even now after accepting a million dollar job as CEO of a major company, he still wouldn’t resign until the Premier asked him to.

Wells is just one of those agitators. And unlike my good chum, John Crosbie (who also likes to open-mouth-insert-foot), Wells never has a sound argument to back up the bullshit he gets on with.

So farewell, Mr. Wells, let it be known that your only achievement in thirty years of politics is that you were runner-up for Rick Mercer’s “Craziest Mayor in Canada” contest.

Oily silence mocks the legless.

Sometimes I feel like Stephen Harper is the only Canadian who wants us fighting in Afghanistan.

It’s not hard to draw this conclusion when I read newspapers with headlines screaming “HARPER WANTS TO EXTEND MISSION IN AFGHANISTAN” or “HARPER SCARED THAT 2009 PULLOUT WILL HARM NATO”.

Did my Prime Minister just tell the press he was scared?

Maybe it could be the fact that my Poli Sci profs all mutter about a certain foreign president’s hand being stuck up our current PM’s backside playing puppet master.

It could be that all three opposition parties are saying GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE, DUMBASS. The Bloc and NDP parties calling for a pullout of troops right now.

I could look at the 78 headstones of Canadian soldiers and cringe.

I could bite my nails and chalk it up to the fact that this year I will be having not one, but two close relatives serving overseas in this catastrophic “war on terror”.

Every time I start thinking about stuff like this I am reminded of that comment someone left on Matthew Good’s blog once upon a time…


“…if this was another decade, there would be riots in the streets. I guess our rebellious youth are waiting for the revolution to be streamed on Youtube first.”

Gobbledygook.

Marland came up to our group in class today and asked “how is everything going over here?” We were a group of three (myself, Allison and another girl named Lesley). Earlier in the class he had asked three peopled groups to disband so everyone could be in a four person cluster.

“Well,” I started “we’re pretty happy together, so we won’t be disbanding. But if you want to stick someone else with us that’s fine.” He looked a little relieved. “Actually, there’s this guy up there,” he pointed behind him to the front of the class “and this is his first day. He seems to be pretty knowledgeable, would you mind if he joined your group?” he asked, adding “If it wouldn’t be awkward.”

We all agreed it would be fine and he gestured for the new guy to come back and join us. We began to see why it could be awkward.

This giant of a man came back, squeezing into one of the lecture seats. I took note of his greying hair and pegged him to be around forty years-old.

“Hi,” he said “I’m Bob.”

Seriously. He’s Bob.

We made introductions and chatted the normal Poli Sci chat when Bob asked something along the lines “so basically we’re running a thirty-six day campaign for a Canadian celebrity?” Happy that he had caught on so fast, we all nodded and made little murmurs of agreement.

Bob chuckled. “That’s great,” he said with a smirk “I’ve run a couple federal campaigns in the past so this should be easy.”

. . .

After exchanging e-mails and agreeing that we would run Celine Dion for the Bloc Quebecois, Bob said “I’ll send you guys some promotional pieces that I’ve worked on. I have a lot of campaign materials and stuff if you guys don’t mind…?” he trailed off.

Oh, Bob. We don’t mind.

[pumps fist into air in most noobesque fashion]

I like my men like I like my coffee.

My Friday love list is in the form of American politics tonight.





Now I realize people are probably like "but Sarah, this isn't what American politics is about! It's about bombs and ridiculous policies and terrible legislation!" and to that I would say "sure is, cowpoke." But honestly, only in America could you get away this.

Can you see Stéphane Dion sitting with Chuck Norris. . . EVER?! Now that would be gold.

As for the dancing ladies, well the whole "sex sells" theory has really climbed by leaps and bounds.

And just because I hate her and absolutely everything she stands for, a little Ann Coulter tune:

Loving politics is like loving life.

In honour of all the political hooplah occurring in the city this weekend, I thought I would do a POLITICS AND LOVE sort of love list this Friday. So without further adieu, I bring you:


POLITICS: REASONING AS TO WHY IT’S BRINGING SEXY BACK


The fact the Stéphane Dion always looks like he’s about to cry
The Shawinigan handshake
Rick Mercer (heart heart heart!)
This photo of Stephen Harper
Oh, and this photo as well
Jack Layton (oh come on, you know he’s cool)
The Marijuana Party of Canada (have to get the youngins interested somehow)
The fact that thanks to direct democracy Minister of Public Safety, Stockwell Day, almost had to change his name to “Doris Day”
That time Danny Williams got pissed at former PM Paul Martin and ordered all the Canadian flags to be taken down from government buildings in the province
That time Danny Williams absolutely burned Paul McCartney on Larry King Live
That time Danny Williams took out ads in national newspapers like the Globe and Mail saying that current PM Stephen Harper was a hack and that we need to call an election
When Danny Williams wears his seal skin coat on the news

Rick Mercer having a sleepover with Prime Ministers


Rick Mercer interviewing Prime Ministers in Harvey's


Rick Mercer taking Prime Ministers to Canadian Tire

Oh Danny boy.

Oh Danny frigging boy.

Now my son, watch out ‘cause this post is going to be a doozy.

In case you haven’t heard (and if you haven’t, are you dead?): MR. STEVIE IS COMIN’ TO DA ISLAND. That’s right, Prime Minister Harper will be arriving in Newfoundland today for the weekend and visiting Stephenville (aw, man), St. John’s (yeehaw) and Port de Grave (I spent last Christmas there!).

Here’s where the political theatre begins!

Harper has requested a meeting with our lovely, soft-spoken, and all around gentle Premier, Danny Williams. Hah. Haha.

OH MAN, THE NEWS IS GONNA BE AWESOME THIS WEEKEND.

Ever since Progressive Conservative Williams started his ABC (Anything But Conservative!) campaign against Harper and his Administration, Canadians everywhere have been asking: WTF?

And us Newfoundlanders are kind of mixed, “Yay, a leader who isn’t Captain Canada!” as well as “Boo, you’re a loud mouth who makes us look stupid.”

But if I were to disagree with anything, it would be that Danny Williams is stupid. In fact the multi-millionaire’s only problem is that he likes to stick his foot in his mouth, but who am I to talk?

They were showing clips of Williams on the NTV news tonight and they showed one of my faves “Well Steve has just broken his promise,” (a reporter makes a comment) “Steve? Well if his best buddy George Bush can call him that, so can I.”

Haha. Hearts my Premier I do.

So everyone if you need me this weekend, you’ll find me parked in front of my television. Popcorn in one hand and sodie-pop in the other as I watch the leader of my country and the leader of my province come to blows.