We were meant to live for so much more.

I have big dreams for 2010. Mind-blowing all encompassing goals. I won't post them all here. Or any. And these aren't resolutions, I cannot fail to accomplish them. They are things to strive for, ideas to contemplate and emotions that need feeling.

What I'm trying to say is, don't worry and be happy. You're living the life you were meant to lead.

P.S. Yes, those are my babies. They are blonde and adorable and today we baked cookies.

Alex².

One of my Christmas presents from Alex was this badass dude - a handmaid ookpik. For those of you who might not know, I "collect" ookpiks (meaning I have one that I drunkenly purchased while in Iqaluit). Traditionally, they are little owls around three inches tall made of seal skin.

Alex carved a piece of wood and covered it partially in fur and then individually glued on each feather. Do you remember seeing him whittle on his front deck this summer? Ookpik II was what he was working on and yes he exuded months of effort. I've found me a special lad.

I went on a VERY important date this week with Ms. Robyn McHugh. She is my true love and never ceases to amaze me with her creativeness and hilariousness. Or the fact that her heart is so loving that it shines right through the very words she speaks!

I wish everyone could have a Robyn in their lives and sometimes I dwell on the fact that in a couple years we might not be able to live in the same city - or maybe even the same country AHEM. But wherever life leads us I know we'll be able to continue our not-so-secret love affair. We have the kind of relationship that spans time zones or whatever else comes our way.

For those who are curious about my plans for this semester, here they are! I am going back to school part-time, distance classes only. This is so I am free to make my own schedule and not feel so CONFINED by my studying and subsequent grades. Somewhere between my first and forth year of university I lost my inability to separate school and life. Both suffered because of it.

This means I will be working part-time with, you guessed it, DRC and the three hooligans. I'm really excited to be child rearing again, especially since it's a make-my-own-schedule kind of deal. How lucky am I! DRC actually screamed and danced with happiness for almost ten minutes when I told her I'd like to come back. I am very much feeling the love.

I am slowly trying to regain my blog mojo. 40 posts for 2009? I think that says a lot about the kind of year I endured. Like you know whatever.

Ain't no grave gonna hold my body down.

I finished up the nanny gig on Wednesday, oh how bittersweet. As it was nearing the end of the day I grew more and more excited... freedom was on the horizon! But as I was getting ready to go, I found myself lingering over goodbyes - bestowing many more kisses and snuggles than any little boy wants to receive.

And when they brought out a cake, sang me a thank you song, and put two dozen roses in my arms, well, I teared up. I AIN'T GONNA LIE. But it was the pleading from Mommy DRC that got me. Homegirl just wants someone to love on her kids. And man do I love those kids. I made promises to return, took the car seats from my car and drove home.

I woke up the next day with a bizarre feeling that I was forgetting something. I've been watching these kids for nine months, I saw them more often than I did my friends or family. I think it will be awhile before I stop planning outings and crafts in my head. Even longer to stop the worrying, thinking, loving and motheringness in me.

I didn't know what to do yesterday, free time is so foreign now. Robyn and Heather came up for some meaningful what-do-we-do-now chats. WE'RE ON THE CUSP OF BEING ADULTS, ARE YOU NOT SCARED? We made plans and promises to make it a good year. School likes to take you down and we are ready to build each other up. We're kicking off [the notoriously bad month of] September with a silly sleepover (because sometimes all it takes is a bad chick flick and a bitching round of truth and dare to take you out of your head).

And though this summer has easily been the worst most hardest most emotionally draining and tiring one of my life, I am ready to move on and start fresh. To leave my depression in the dust. To see the friends I've been avoiding (I'm sorry friends, you are just too astute at reading my emotions. One cannot hide from ones self if they are being made aware of ones self by another), to live the life I want to lead, trust in my faith and karmic justice and be happy.

The young and restless.

Last Monday I was involved in a fender bender, well I guess it would be more accurately described as a fender scratcher. Today I was called by the police and informed that she has filed a report with them. She has back pain you see. Back pain caused by our scratchy accident. Aren't these the kinds of stories that go down as ruining lives? Or at least insurance rates. I'm interested to see how the system will work for me.

Joey is home and that means happy warm fuzzy times. He has a fancy new car and the same Joey goodness, it is just not the same when he isn't here.

It looks like the Merrymeeting ladies will be disbanding (on good terms of course!). As McKayla finds herself searching for a place with Phil and Sierra and I join forces with Allan. Of course the housing market in St. John's is ridiculous right now (I'm not complaining, we're pretty much the only city in North America not feeling the recession, yay black gold), so no one has found anything. IT'S ALL RENTED UP, FOLKS.

And I'm finishing up work next week! I will miss my blonde children, but I'm pretty ecstatic to do the school bit again. I've been asked by my employer if I know anyone who wants my job. Part-time nanny work, anyone?

I can teach you.

Let's update everyone on my life, shall we?

I still have a major computer virus (and thus my absence from MSN and this blog). Everything takes eight years to load and it really isn't worth the effort.

I went downtown the weekend with all of my lovelies (and oh did we look lovely! Check out Sierra and I there). We went to... Distortion! It is a well known fact that this is my least favourite bar on George Street, but there was a very special indie dance show. And boy did we dance!

I am sick again. Again with a sinus thing. I am going to seek a nose transplant. Or a kitty transplant (SHE POOPS IN A BOX NEXT TO MY WASHING MACHINE). I skipped school and work yesterday because of senor sinus. And monsieur blues.

Winter blues were taking root the weekend, but thankfully with all of this sun today (thirteen degrees, whaaa?) my mind is back on track.

My kids are great, thanks for asking. Two year old and I spent the day outside playing hockey. He kicked my ass.

This week tells of movie marathons, drunk bowling and special Robyn timez (hopefully!).

Love love love.

People will say all kinds of things.

Dearest friends how I've enjoyed your company this weekend!

Last weekend was such a bust (slept it away and away) so this weekend I made a point to invite everyone to the Merrymeeting residence.

Robyn and I have done so many craft nights together and decided to hold a special one Friday for the opening of our true love, Red Velvet Art. This was the first craft night open to the public and it was a smashing success!

I have been so creative lately that it is almost painful to watch the accumulation of STUFF happening in my room. Merrymeeting scrapbook is going strong. Knitting occurs frequently. Drawing in my HI book and Robyn's pretty pink book happens almost every night. And now I've taken it upon myself to start The Sew again.

The Sew is when I crack out the sewing machine (circa Christmas 2000), buy some fantastic fabric from the $1.97 bin at Wal-Mart, and decide upon a garment (or bedding!) that needs to be made.

I have taken it upon myself this time to fashion two skirts (one for Sierra and I) out of $16 in fabric. CAN I DO IT? Probably not, but it is always fun to try. Plus I'd like to try this and this pattern.

I have just a couple hours of awake time left before I am forced to sleep and then start the week again. But I am armed for the onslaught of tiny fists: heart-shaped suckers and Kinder Eggs. Best nanny EVER.

See you all again next weekend, okay?

Toopy and Binoo.

I have one class a week and I skipped it tonight.

And you might judge me, or be jealous. But if you knew the day I had you would rejoice in my opting for bath and three episodes of Kenny vs. Spenny.

For the record, a child's head is indeed as hard as a rock. My bloodied nose proved this fact when I was headbutted by a two year old.

And after picking up the "confetti" 100 piece puzzle set three times, I accepted in my heart that only 97 pieces would have to suffice.

Not to mention my even earlier mornings (apparently there is life before my usual 6:40am) since Mr. Snowplow Man decided to take a personal vendetta out on my parking nook. FOUR MAJOR SHOVELS IN 48 HOURS, NO WAY HOSEA.

The bath has made me calmer.

Take me on a truck to Darfur.

My life is like this murder mystery. Somehow.

And beer mountain... can't forget beer mountain.

My job is going great. I love the kids, polite and so ridiculously smart. Only two pees in the pants and one "i hate you!" so I think I'm doing fine.

I go to bed at 10:30 now. Wake up at 6:30. Tis a hard-knock life to be sure.

Love and kisses always.

Oh, and one for the road (from the road?).

Major headache.

This is my life now? Minus the really hot guy. Aka, I got the job. I honestly don't know what I'm thinking. But at least I have a murder mystery party tonight to help me feel better. :)



Oh my.