And these wars; they can never be won.

Alex and I went to the mall immediately after he got off work yesterday. Why do you ask? The latest Muse album, The Resistance, dropped yesterday. We had a listening party planned (with Mr. Jones included of course, him being my fellow Muse lover for the past half decade). Needless to say, we had high hopes.

Muse has been my most favourite band for a long time, a really really long time. Their last album, Black Holes and Revelations, really did it for a lot of people. They generated this whole new fan base with their overproduced catchy tunes. Some nice stuff to play on Guitar Hero, I'm sure.

Now don't get me wrong, I enjoyed their last album. It wasn't the Muse I remembered, but bands always change with the times. It was a new Muse, but one I was open to, one I purchased and listened to with love in my heart.

Muse has kind of taken a back seat since 2006 for me. Amazing albums have come out since then and I have been focusing my attention on them. But I waited for this new album. I waited and I prayed real hard, give me something that will blow my mind!

It blew my mind the wrong way.

Gone were the bass beats that had me pounding my hands on the steering wheel. No longer was Matt Bellamy singing his falsetto out loud and proud, instead he kept a tight grasp on it, I kept on waiting for something more... edgy. Most songs were an obscure power ballad, as if Timbaland had mixed a Queen song. I was, and am, very disappointed.

There are a couple good songs. As we listened through them we kept hoping that the three part symphony at the end would somehow make up for it, that the band had invested in these three songs the most. Unfortunately they were no different from the rest of the album.

I'm not saying don't listen to it, it might be your taste! I'm just really surprised to find that this is Muse's taste now. I'll probably keep listening and maybe it will grow on me. A brief perusing about the internets this morning displayed rave reviews all around. Shows how much I know.

Muse has definitely evolved, they're entering the spacey electronic future at full force. Unfortunately for me, as previously stated, I'm just not big on change.


Edit: this review dude must read my blog, apparently I'm not alone in my opinion.

The act of convincing myself.

MUN is such a funny place. A funny, nerve wracking, panic attack inducing place. I'm willing to guess (for me at least) that it's because it introduces change.

I am very resistant to change. I don't like it AT ALL. I'm a comfortable rut sort of gal.

But in all honesty it can be good. School forces everyone to band together, a team of scholars (ha) desperate to fight the depression and anxiety that is so inevitable in a place like university. It forces you to see people, like the friends you haven't thought about in years. This too is a good thing, because you see them as new people. Cause you are new people... it's inevitable... agreed?

I ran into an old buddy of mine this afternoon, she's all grown up and in her first year now. When she first called out my name in the hall I had that instant heart freeze. I hate pretending I'm friendly. We got to chatting, and I realized that in our time apart we had grown closer. Our interests and experiences jived. How exciting!

What is it I'm trying to say? MUN sucks, yes. But it doesn't have to suck THE BIG ONE. You can make it what you want to make it.

And if that means three night classes and a painfully overpriced stack of textbooks, then so be it. But I'm making sure it also means making old friends new friends, doing the best darn collage I can for Women Studies and actively trying to make the best of a truly shitty deal.

Be with me on this one, eh. I need the frick frackin support.

Ain't no grave gonna hold my body down.

I finished up the nanny gig on Wednesday, oh how bittersweet. As it was nearing the end of the day I grew more and more excited... freedom was on the horizon! But as I was getting ready to go, I found myself lingering over goodbyes - bestowing many more kisses and snuggles than any little boy wants to receive.

And when they brought out a cake, sang me a thank you song, and put two dozen roses in my arms, well, I teared up. I AIN'T GONNA LIE. But it was the pleading from Mommy DRC that got me. Homegirl just wants someone to love on her kids. And man do I love those kids. I made promises to return, took the car seats from my car and drove home.

I woke up the next day with a bizarre feeling that I was forgetting something. I've been watching these kids for nine months, I saw them more often than I did my friends or family. I think it will be awhile before I stop planning outings and crafts in my head. Even longer to stop the worrying, thinking, loving and motheringness in me.

I didn't know what to do yesterday, free time is so foreign now. Robyn and Heather came up for some meaningful what-do-we-do-now chats. WE'RE ON THE CUSP OF BEING ADULTS, ARE YOU NOT SCARED? We made plans and promises to make it a good year. School likes to take you down and we are ready to build each other up. We're kicking off [the notoriously bad month of] September with a silly sleepover (because sometimes all it takes is a bad chick flick and a bitching round of truth and dare to take you out of your head).

And though this summer has easily been the worst most hardest most emotionally draining and tiring one of my life, I am ready to move on and start fresh. To leave my depression in the dust. To see the friends I've been avoiding (I'm sorry friends, you are just too astute at reading my emotions. One cannot hide from ones self if they are being made aware of ones self by another), to live the life I want to lead, trust in my faith and karmic justice and be happy.

The young and restless.

Last Monday I was involved in a fender bender, well I guess it would be more accurately described as a fender scratcher. Today I was called by the police and informed that she has filed a report with them. She has back pain you see. Back pain caused by our scratchy accident. Aren't these the kinds of stories that go down as ruining lives? Or at least insurance rates. I'm interested to see how the system will work for me.

Joey is home and that means happy warm fuzzy times. He has a fancy new car and the same Joey goodness, it is just not the same when he isn't here.

It looks like the Merrymeeting ladies will be disbanding (on good terms of course!). As McKayla finds herself searching for a place with Phil and Sierra and I join forces with Allan. Of course the housing market in St. John's is ridiculous right now (I'm not complaining, we're pretty much the only city in North America not feeling the recession, yay black gold), so no one has found anything. IT'S ALL RENTED UP, FOLKS.

And I'm finishing up work next week! I will miss my blonde children, but I'm pretty ecstatic to do the school bit again. I've been asked by my employer if I know anyone who wants my job. Part-time nanny work, anyone?

July (oh please don't Facebook these faces).

The moral of July:
One must always swim in city pools during the day, doing said activity during evening hours will have one of the following results:
- Being chased out of pool in underwears by policing figures
- Losing shoes
- Six inch gashes on legs
- Paddy wagon scares
- Getting caught by a running police figure who then insists that you may not put on your bra
- Scaring the shit out of everyone, both involved and indirectly involved
Or that could all happen. On your 19th birthday. Silly friends. Happy birthday Brittany!

Doesn't humidity suck? This summer is so sticky! I'm glad I don't live in the south, I would melt away.