I was watching Dead Like Me last night when I heard something that made me scoff. George said during one of her opening spiels “Everyone has lost a loved one.”
In my two decades on this earth I have never known someone to die. Well, maybe a very VERY distant relative or possibly mere acquaintances. But I have gotten away with almost twenty years of familial and friend immortality.
And I am left with so many questions.
What does one wear to a funeral? Is it still a social norm to go in black as movies would suggest?
I wouldn’t like that for my funeral. I would want a luau completes with leis and tacky bright coloured shirts. And there better damn well be a pig on a spit or I’m coming back to haunt all of you.
What happens at a funeral? I know it takes a long time to make a headstone. Do you still do a service in the cemetery? Is there anyway to get out of seeing a dead body at an open casket reception?
Do I make food? Do people make food for me?
Will all the relatives come out of the woodworks? Distant cousins and long forgotten aunts and uncles?
How much time is appropriate to take off work?
How long before someone dies and the time of the funeral?
Will people send me cards? What happens to all of those flowers, do I get to keep them? Will there be singing? Will I have to say something? I don’t want to say anything.
Please answer these questions for me because my grandfather died last night while I was watching Dead Like Me and scoffing.
And I’m not sure what happens next.
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3 comments:
Sarah Smith. I love you.
From what I can remember from my pop's funeral, I think he passed on a Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday was the open casket (I know my aunt Patricia didn't enter the room to see him so I think it's possible).
All the flowers were either donated to the church or placed on his grave and surrounding graves to brighten up the place so to say.
I remember there was food. And lots of food. Everyone was bringing food to my nan's house and I don't think we cooked supper for a week because other families and friends were cooking for us and making sure we were okay.
Relatives will come, and it's really nice to have family around.
Take off the amount of time at work you need, believe me they will understand.
You can say something if you want to, and there was minimal singing, I remember that the singing there was was done at the funeral service and it was very church-like.
Wear clothes that's nice, remember it's family (you wanna look good ;))
Ps the end of your entry really caught me off guard, and I love you so much. I know how much he meant to you and call me whenever you need someone to talk to.
Holy shit long messages.
Holly did a great job with the questions, and I only know what I know about funerals having performed at a couple. You don't have to wear black, I've rarely seen all family members at a funeral wearing black, if at all. I wish I could help you with the rest.
I really am so sorry, and I hate knowing you are so far away and sad. I'm here too if you want to talk, about your grandfather or about anything else. I'm thinking about you tons, even more than usual. Which is a lot. <3
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